Week 6 - Baby dreams

Week 6 Picture

This last week may have marked the first time that baby Jay gave a social smile! The reason why we can't be sure is that babies have a hilarious tendency to smile when they fart. As such, we can't be confident that the smile means he's happy to see me quite yet. He might just be gassy. Still, those small flashes of positive social interaction gave me as much of a rush as anything I've ever experienced. I can't wait for the day when he's old enough to tell me that he loves me. Hopefully they last awhile before reaching the days he tells me he hates me...

His favorite way for me to hold him.

In other news, I'm happy to report that my optimistic outlook from my last post was well placed. Changing to a shift-style sleep system where Kimbre and I switch off baby duty at predictable intervals throughout the night has done wonders for reducing the torment of what were quickly becoming exhausting and frustrating nights. 

It's amazing how the luxury of a few hours of guaranteed sleep can make the rest of the night much more bearable. Still, it's hard to say how much of that is the system and how much of it was him just learning to sleep better. Babies change really, really fast. Times where I feel that I have him figured out are painfully short lived. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to try. Clearly, I'm not alone in this regard. See for yourself. Google any silly baby problem (e.g. my baby grunts and farts in his sleep) and I bet you that you will find as many solutions and recommendations for how to resolve or address the issue as there are parents to give them. For how many babies there have been throughout history (literally billions), it's remarkable how little we know about them. I guess that's half the fun.

One of the less savory side effects of all this extra sleep I'm getting is that my subconscious mind has a lot more time to find creative ways to torture me. Without fail, anytime I get more than two hours of sleep, I am eventually woken up to the horrible feeling that I dozed off with baby Jay in the sheets in bed with me. In my half lucid state, I scramble to get him free before he suffocates. After a few minutes of this, I realize it's simply a pillow that is tangled in the sheets and that he is either safely asleep in his bassinet next to the bed or is upstairs with his mom. My relief quickly turns into embarrassment and frustration at the fact that this happens every. Single. Time. Hopefully, like everything else, this is a phase that will pass on it's own soon. Until then, I will remain steadfast in my mission to make sure that no pillow suffocates on my watch.

Week 5 - Fat and grumpy

Fat and grumpy. 

Those are the best words I could use to describe Jay's week this last week.

Week 5 Picture

The fat is the good. It's a little weird how easy it is to get a sense of personal pride at watching him turn into a little butterball. Especially since I'm not the one providing his calories. Blowing raspberries on his stomach after changing his diaper gets more fun the fatter he gets. I know it should be obvious, but it's just weird to me that babies grow. That little alien looking creature with the pale blue skin that I met late December is turning into a little person--complete with his own little future and own little set of hopes and dreams. It's an odd realization, but really satisfying nonetheless.

Mean muggin in the middle of the night

The grumpy is the bad. Most babies get better at sleeping as they get older. Not ours. I'm writing this post at 1 o'clock in the morning after a 48 hour stretch where he hasn't slept for more than one hour at a time. One of the dangers of assuming things can only get better is that it's completely not in the least bit true. Yes, yes, I know in several weeks, months, or years it eventually does get better, but much of life with a newborn is won and lost in the small battles. And we have been losing these battles handily these last couple days. Still, we are adapting. Just tonight we've switched to a shift schedule, which I am optimistic will help us endure this new exhausting phase.

Even at its worst, it's all worth it. I love this little boy. If I have to endure a million sleepless nights it would be worth the price of admission. I'd be willing to do whatever it takes for the opportunity to spend just one more day as his dad.

Partner in crime

Being a new parent is a lot easier if you have a good partner to help share the load. Fortunately for me, I have one of the best compadres one can ask for. Without a doubt, Kimbre is a really, really good mom.

As evidence of this, Jay has decided recently that he doesn't want to sleep more than an hour between 4am and 8am. You can imagine how frustrating this might be ---particularly when it's your morning to get up early with him. When I get up on such a morning where he's fussed all night and Kimbre has morning duty, I prepare my self to find a frazzled, frustrated, and exhausted mom. Yet, without exception, I instead stumble across a sleepy, but eternally patient mom playing with an equally sleepy and less patient little boy.

I've gained a new found respect for single parents. I don't know how they do it. Hell, I'm not even sure how people do it without a mom as great as Kimbre. Seeing the way she loves baby Jay only makes me love her more.

She's not too bad to look at either...

Week 4 - First milestones

On Sunday, Jay will officially be one month old, which means I'm one month closer to finally getting a smile from the little grump.

Week 4 Picture

This month has been both harder and easier than I expected. At its worst, having a newborn really is, well, the worst. Yet, those moments when it's at its best are hard to beat. Settling into our new lives as parents has come a lot more naturally for Kimbre and I than I thought it would. We learned really quickly what lifestyle changes are needed to make this new existence work and, at least for the most part, the transition have been seamless.

Bath

This milestone also marks the first time I've been able to detect in him a noticeable physical change. The picture below shows the onesie that was big on him during his ride home from the hospital can barely contain him now.

Milk drunk

This is a big deal since spending every day with the little man makes it hard for me to see that he's growing. Now, I can finally move on from surviving the day-to-day exhaustion of a new baby and begin to start day-dreaming about the future. I'm officially on the schedule to start teaching classes at Oregon State in July which also has given me something concrete to look forward to. I can't wait to taking Jay fishing, to the beach, and eventually snowboarding near our new Oregon home. We will have a lot of exploring to do and it will be fun sharing those experiences with my little boy

The future looks bright. There's certainly a lot of tough days ahead but I'm not thinking about those now. For better or for worse, he's only going to be this small once.

Week 3 - Transitions

Jay's third week, as has been the case of every week thus far, has been marked by a series of transitions. Kimbre's parents left early on Sunday which means that, for the first time since he was born, Kimbre and I alone are solely responsible for Jay's care. I'm doing my best to transition back to work---a taller task than I originally anticipated. For his part, Jay is still in the process of transitioning to the world outside the womb---a taller task than I'm sure he originally anticipated.

Week 3 Picture

Nevertheless, he's doing as well as one can hope. I'm relieved every time the pediatrician smiles and tells us that he's growing at a phenomenal rate. Yet, for every two steps forward, it feels like we take at least one step back. I'm losing hope that Jay is going to be the fabled and coveted "quiet baby." The last 48 hours or so he has been a handful and he demands to be fed roughly every hour and a half. Although I suspect that this new behavior may simply be the result of an early growth spurt, this transition has been particularly tough on his poor, sleep-deprived mom which means it's my job to step in and pick up the slack.

 

Although I miss the whole nights of sleep and full ownership of my own schedule, I'm truly enjoying every minute with my new boy. It was Kimbre's night to go to bed early last night, which means that Jay and I spent some time upstairs playing, reading books, and of course a bit of fussing until he eventually fell asleep curled up on my chest. Having a kid is really showing me the meaning of sacrifice. Not just of my time and energy, but to some extent my aspirations as well. I have goals in my life and for my career that I will probably never achieve now that I have a kid. But you know, it's hard to describe how wonderful a feeling that is; holding your son in the late evening, everything else but how much you love him removed from your mind.

I wouldn't trade it for the word.

Week 2 - Always growing

Things are starting to settle into a routine. Of course, Baby Jay has made a point to dictate what many of those routines look like. Still, I finally feel like I'm getting to recover a somewhat semi-normal rhythm to my days. Although I'm not operating at 100% of productivity levels from before Jay arrived, I have been able to find some time to get a bit of work done in the downtime when Kimbre is watching him or when he's sleeping. Normalcy is really nice.

Week 2 Picture

My favorite part of his second week has been watching his personality begin to emerge. He spends a lot more time staring at faces and making faces of his own. We're communicating better and he's beginning to have a bit more variety in his moods. His explosive farts are almost as impressive as the self-satisfied look he gets on his face after letting one out. It's a bit frustrating that newborns don't smile except when passing gas. A smile after I tell a funny joke or kill it with a silly face would go a long way. Right now, I feel like I am responsible for a ornery old man with a weird boob obsession and a lack of concern for the sleeping patterns or dignity of others.

Still, we're getting a lot of quality time together here in these early days. He and I spent a lot of the day yesterday watching football. Get them started young I always say. Jay was not impressed with the SEC's West's outing last night.

That's my boy.