Week 18 - Sweet, sweet, sleep.

Week 18 Picture

You guys. It finally happened. Baby Jay slept for seven, yes I said seven, straight hours last night - from 8:30 PM to 3:30 AM. In the four months that he has been alive, this is a first. In fact, seven hours blows the previous record (4-5 hours) right out of the water. The thing that finally did the trick for us was adding a bit of rice cereal to his nighttime feeding, on the advice of his pediatrician. Let me tell you, it was glorious. It's hard to truly appreciate uninterrupted sleep until you've lost it.

The timing of this change in sleep habits could not be any better for me. With my dissertation defense only a few days away, I could use a few more nights of solid sleep. Give the unpredictability of his moods lately, I suppose he could as well.

He literally bounced until he passed out.

For the first time in Jay's life, I think he is at a stage that I am truly going to miss when he gets older. This does not mean that I did not enjoy my last four months with him. I assure you, it's quite the opposite. It's just that, up until now, Jay's lack of mobility means that Kimbre and I have been the sole providers of his entertainment. Although that can at times be draining, it has its perks. For example, because we mean that it's fun time, he lights up like a candle when he sees us, complete with full face smiles and squeals of delight. However, as he gets older, Jay has begun to demand a bit more variety in his entertainment. There are times where he would be happier not to be held. Other times, he would prefer to scooch all around his play mat and bat at his toys than be tickled. What's the fun in that? I'm also nearing the end of my duties as day-time baby sitter. Before I know it, the time will come where the first half of my day is not completely devoted to taking care of him. It will not and cannot always be this way I know, and that makes me a little sad. It's truly a luxury that I am able to get to spend this time with him. Although I'll enjoy getting to return to productivity, I'm going to miss this time with him.

Week 17 - Squeals of delight

Week 17 Picture

I can understand why some people choose not to have kids. They are a ton of work, they require you to sacrifice your sleep, your free time, and your money. In no time at all, they have a tendency to dominate almost every aspect of your day-to-day life. Before Jay was born, I think I underestimated how truly difficult it would become to do something as simple as going out to a nice dinner, catch a movie, or grab a quick drink with a friend.

That being said, I'm ridiculously happy to be Jay's dad and I would not have it any other way. It's one of those things that is really hard to put into words. Kimbre and I spent yesterday morning lying in bed enjoying the lazy pace of a beautiful Saturday morning, talking with each other while listening to baby Jay in the living room squealing and squeeching at his toys, not a care in the world. I can honestly say it was one of the happiest moments in my life - a life that has been blessed with many happy moments.

Every day Jay becomes more and more curious. The joy with which he approaches the novelty that fills his life provides me with an incredible sense of optimism and peace. A few days ago, Kimbre bought him a second-hand bouncer off of 405 resale that lights up and plays music whenever it bounces. Unfortunately, the poor little guy is 95% torso, so his stubby little legs were too short to reach the ground, even on the lowest setting. As a quick fix, we stuck a pillow underneath his feet so he could get a foothold and he took to it right away. He must have spent a full hour throwing his body all over the place, screaming with delight. I probably could have spent the whole night just watching him.

Adding to our joy, my mom's surgery went as well as we could have possibly hoped. The tumor was removed and was found to be benign. She was even released from the hospital ahead of schedule. These are happy days. I know that they won't all be this happy, so I'm doing my best to stop and enjoy it.

Week 16 - Holding patterns

Week 16 Picture

I'm happy our first kid was a boy. I wasn't sure that a would be. I was originally hoping for a girl though I'm not sure that I could ever tell you precisely why. Honestly, when they're really young, I imagine that there isn't much of a difference outside of the diaper changing details. But now that Jay is getting a little bit older, I'm beginning to really appreciate the fact that he's always going to be my little boy. 

One recent expression of this "boyness" is that as he continues to get stronger, he's been becoming more forthcoming in the way that he expresses a preference for horseplay. There have been instances in the past week where the only way I could get him to stop fussing was to hold him upside down and tickle him. He also seems to get a huge kick out of being held up high in the air over your head and wiggled around. As a result, I have found myself handling him this past week in ways that I never would have imagined shortly after he was born. Although at times he can be a handful with all this new-found strength and energy, I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's makes those moments where he naps quietly on my chest all the nicer by comparison.

This is a short post this week because there honestly was not a whole lot that happened since I last wrote. Kimbre and I kind of feel like we're stuck in purgatory. It's still too early to get excited for the move but it's also too late to devote much time and energy to developing new things here. I think we're also both in the experiencing that ever familiar end of semester burnout - an experience that is only magnified by the amount of work it takes to take care of a three and a half month old boy.

Before I go, however, I'd like to ask you a favor. My mom heads into surgery this week to have a giant tumor in her abdomen removed. Cross your fingers that the surgery goes smoothly and that they find that the tumor is benign. I'm worried sick out her. I can't imagine a world where baby Jay would have to grow up without truly getting to know his Geema. She's a special person and she means a whole lot to me. Please keep her and my family in your thoughts and prayers this week.

Week 15 - The hard times

Week 15 Picture

I've got a really good life. On the whole, I'm a very happy person. However, this past week will not be one that I look back on fondly in the years to come. It's been a taxing few days on me and my family emotionally and physically. Lately, it feels like things both big and small just won't stop piling up on us. This is nothing that we won't be able to get through in time, but that doesn't offer a lot of solace in the present.

Gee-ma snuggles

Part of the strain we've been feeling recently can be attributed to Jay's recent sudden change in disposition. There have been days this last week where he literally did nothing but sleep and cry all day.  The frustration of this is only amplified by comparisons to his cheery demeanor from only a few days before. It's nothing to be overly concerned about since his symptoms are consistent with early teething. Still, Kimbre and I both just hit a wall toward the end of the week where we just ran out of energy to deal with it on top of everything else. Being a new parent requires a staggering amount of patience, both with the baby as well as with each other - patience that can be hard to come by on three hours of sleep.

I'm confident we'll make it though. Kimbre and I make a really good team. Yesterday she sacrificed her time and energy to give me a chance to unwind and recover. Today I'm doing my best to give the chance to do the same (mostly by simply giving her a chance to sleep). I love Kimbre a lot.  She's all I could every hope as a wife, partner, and mother. I'm still amazed that I found her and even more amazed that I convinced her to marry me.

At the end of the day, it's this resiliency that gives me hope. Kimbre and I have yet to experience a challenge that we can't handle together. Besides, I honestly believe that a life without hard times is no life at all. You can't truly appreciate the good until you've had the bad. Life is lived in these contrasts, and it's what makes everything so beautiful.