Week 31 - Settling in

Week 31 Picture

We've been in Corvallis about two weeks now and the house is finally coming together. It's a bit overwhelming the number of things that can pile up on a to-do list when you move. Some of them can end up being quite the hassle. I'm particularly dreading the process of filing the claim forms with the moving company to get reimbursed for our lost and damaged items. It's one of those things that I know is going to be a drawn out and frustrating battle (by design of the moving company of course) but what can you do. Baby Jay hasn't been making the process any easier either. Over the last month or so, he's developed into a real hold-me baby. He wants to be where you are, touching what your holding, playing with what your eating, and so on. Still, we don't get mad at him. It's really not his fault. His brain is growing and he expect more out of his environment to fuel his emerging curiosity. This phase in his life just makes it hard to find a moments rest, particularly for Kimbre. Somedays, he won't even let you sit down with him, much less put him down on his own without fussing about it.

Still, we're making do. It's been fun getting to explore the area and embrace an entirely different lifestyle than what we were used to in Oklahoma. Last Saturday we went to the local farmers market and bought ingredients for salsa along with some local cheeses and breads. This weekend, we're planning on heading down to the coast to hit up some antique shops for decorations for our new house. It's exciting being in a new place and it's really nice to have a lot available to us when we're itching for a weekend getaway.

Work's not so bad either. My office is really nice and I enjoy the people I work with. Although I'm only two weeks in, I'm already about halfway done with my summer class. It hasn't been so bad but I'll still be quite happy when it's over. Prepping a new 2 hour class that I've never taught before on four of the five days out of the week isn't an impossible task, but it makes it tough for me to get other things done, be it restarting the engine on my research pipeline or taking care of things around the house. Nevertheless, it's been a nice way to slowly ease myself into my new profession. All the real orientations and such will really get going mid-September. I think around that time is when I'll start to feel like things have really begun.

So here we are. On the doorstep of the next big phase in our life. Well, I guess we're in entry way at this point, but you get the picture. Can't wait to see what else life has in store.

Week 30 - Unpacking

Week 30 Picture

What a week. Despite my best efforts to maintain a rotten attitude about it, all the pieces for the last leg of our trip to Oregon fell neatly into place. Looking back on it, it's hard to deny that everything went about as smoothly as they could go. I closed on the house Wednesday morning and after twiddling my thumbs all day, I finally got the keys to the house that same afternoon. The movers came on Thursday. Although they lost a few things and broke a few others (as movers will often do), the vast majority of our stuff showed up on time and intact. The Comcast guy came out on Friday morning to equip us with services absolutely necessary for survival (cable and Internet) and I spent Friday  afternoon down on campus getting set up in my new office. Finally, my parents drove out on Saturday to drop off the people necessary for my survival (Kimbre and baby Jay), officially marking the end of our move.

Although it feels good to be here, we can't relax quite yet. Our house is a hurricane of boxes, packing paper, and our scattered belongings. The unpacking process reminds me of the worst possible Christmas one could imagine. You spend all day unpacking gifts which at best will be your stuff in the original condition and at worst will be a paper parcel full of broken glass - a gift we received just this very evening. We're making progress though. We spent all night tonight unpacking and preparing the master bedroom. Add that to the unpacked kitchen and living room and this new house of ours is finally starting to feel like a home. It's going to take some time and effort, but we're getting there.

We still have quite a bit more work until we're done but we're slowly making progress. The best way to eat an elephant, after all, is one bite at a time. And we have ourselves one mighty fine elephant sandwich that should keep us busy for a few more weeks at least.

Week 29 - Almost there

Week 29 Picture

I'm currently on the road to Oregon, set to close on our house in less than 24 hours. It feels good to be just about done with this move. You never really know how much you can miss sleeping in your own bed until you haven't done so for an entire month and a half. Not a lot of time to write a lengthy post today (and let's be honest, I got a lot of that out of my system last week.) Instead, I'll leave you with some of my favorite pictures from my trip thus far.

Week 28 - The long game

Week 28 Picture

One of the toughest parts of being a new parent is having to watch your non-parent friends freely and eagerly travel the world, buy shiny new toys, brag about a weekend bender on Facebook, or guiltlessly enjoy some other similar self-indulgent pleasure rather than spending their time doing things like wrestling a fussy baby to bed.

I'd be lying if I said that I don't sometimes get really jealous of them. Doing things such as traveling to an exotic location at the drop of a dime or starting a new, expensive, involved hobby are things I just can't do anymore. At times, it can be really frustrating. I've got a bad case of wanting to have my cake and to eat it too. It's not even always big things either. Something as simple as planning a night out to watch fireworks on the 4th of July becomes exponentially more complex when you have a little one's needs to take into consideration. Even worse is that some people I know that don't have kids are plenty happy to gloat about it. For instance, one young couple I know posted a status on Facebook listing 'not having kids' as a sign of a successful first year anniversary. It was almost as if being kid-free is something they believe should be specifically commended for. Comments like these are mostly harmless, but in our broader society, opinions on the merits of having/not having kids can inspire great passions in people. There's even an entire group on Reddit with just shy of 80,000 followers devoted to gloating about the joys of not having kids (https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree in case you're interested).

One of the ways I get past these frustrations is by changing my perspective on these things. Essentially, I have come to view having my first kid at this point in my life as an investment not only in my son, but also in my long-term happiness. Yes, it's true that right now I don't get the enjoy all the things I used to while my friends without babies can largely do whatever they want. However, if I don't put in this time now, I won't be able to enjoy the richness of life many years down the road when I'm old. For example, I can't wait for the day when I'm surrounded by my children and grandchildren rather than an empty house full of things I've long since lost interest in. Another benefit of having my first baby in my late 20's rather than waiting until I'm older (or forgoing children all together) is that I know that I won't be too old as a parent to enjoy things like teaching my kids to drive, dancing with them when they get married, and watching them have kids of their own. Getting to see how happy my parents are in just this situation only reinforces my excitement for those golden years. Although it doesn't always feel like it, it's reassuring to know that someday Jay will not only be able to take care of himself, he'll eventually be able to take care of me when I need it.

It's not all long-term gain either. This hypothetical "investment" pays short-term dividends as well. Getting to take Jay to the pool for the first time was a lot of fun - way more fun than I would have thought before having a baby. He looked so cute in his little swim trunks and he just had a ball splashing around in the shallow water of the kiddie pool. Going with Jodi and her two kids to the Children's museum here in Denver was a lot of fun as well and gave me a new perspective on the value of museums as family destinations. It's kind of neat getting to enjoy these things from an entirely new perspective.

I'm not saying that this view of the benefits of having kids versus the costs is the only way to look at it or that it even works for everyone. I know for a fact that there are some people who's internal equation does not value the long-term benefits of kids over the cost to their lifestyle. It's just how I look at things and it helps me during the less glamorous times where having a 6-month old born is a complete chore.

I love my life. I love Kimbre. I love my family. I love my son. That's how things add up for me.