Week 14 - Here comes the sun!

Week 14 Picture

What a week! During the day, this was the best week I've had thus far with my little boy. With Kimbre back at school and no parents in town during the day to help out, I spent every day this past week with Jay during the morning and early afternoon while Kimbre was at school. And let me tell you, my timing could not have been better. Jay chose this week of all weeks to explode with personality. He smiles. He talks. He laughs. Pretty much any time he is not (a) hungry, (b) sleepy, or (c) dirty, he is an absolute joy to be around. It's almost like you can watch him in real time as he becomes more comfortable in his own skin. As I write this, he is laying on the floor by himself talking to his toys. This may not sound like a big deal, but only a week or so a go it was all but unfathomable that he not be held or least played with every waking second of his existence. And the best part is he has gotten a lot more expressive in his love for us. He lights up like a bolt of lighting with full face smile and squeals of delight when he sees either me or Kimbre when we get home .

The night, however, tells a different story. I feel like in this last week, Jay has regressed in his night time habits. This may ultimately be a result of my unrealistic expectations as he hasn't necessarily gotten worse per say. You would think as a baby gets older, they would get better at sleeping. But he just hasn't. And it's this lack of improvement that sucks. He gives us a good first chunk of sleep after we put him down around 10 - usually about 3 or 4 hours. After that, however, is hell. I feel like I used to be able to rock him to sleep and buy myself an extra hour or so when he first wakes up. This is no longer the case. When I feed him, he eats the bottle, but not without making it as difficult as he can. These new particular feeding habits require me to hold him in really unusual positions just to make sure he is getting milk and not air in the bottle. And the rest of the night does not get much better. Lately, he's been waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours expecting either attention, more food or both. It's really tough for me to fall asleep that quickly which means that I end up getting only 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night when I'm on baby duty. Probably the most frustrating part is that these new trends are not so unusual that we can justify trying something more drastic. We may try cry-it-out methods after my parents visit this coming week, but we've been saying that months now...

This week also marks the beginning of storm season. On Wednesday, that cloud in the picture above produced an F-1 tornado that touched down a few miles north of our house and caused a bit of chaos around town for a few hours. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable spending even a few more months here without the storm shelter we had installed last summer. It's amazing how my perspective on things like that have changed since Jay was born. Chances I'd be willing to take with my own life are chances I'd never take with Jay's.

I'm responsible for this little man like nothing I have ever been responsible for before. I hope he turns out alright. I hope he has a great life. I hope he doesn't grow up to hate me and forgives me when I make mistakes.Thus far, parenthood has been relatively easy. Sure there are hard times, but I've never once wished it any other way. Still, I know that things are bound to get more difficult. If he has any part of me inside of him, when he gets older he's going to push back, talk back, and test limits. I guess it's payback for the times I did the same things growing up. Yet, I refuse to spend any time or energy worried about that though. I love my little boy and I'm plan to continue to look at my life with him as one big adventure.

 Even if it means we've gotta fill in as a chew toy from time to time.