Guest post by Kimbre today! Enjoy!
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As a parent I fully expect to have moments where I am
completely lost and feel like a complete failure as a mother. I know that I
will struggle to find the words to calm my son when a friend hurts his feelings
and I am sure I will have no idea how to even start “the talk.” I know that not
knowing, not trusting yourself, and crying because you think you did it all
wrong is par for the course as a mom. As my mom tells me it comes with a mother
license. I just didn’t expect to feel this way so soon.
That being said, I feel like a complete and utter failure
when it comes sleep. Not my sleep. I can fall asleep just about anywhere now
days, but baby Jays sleep. I cannot get my precious boy to sleep through the night!
Things are getting worse not better. On a normal night he goes down at 7:30
wakes up at 12:00, 3:00 and then at 5:00. Recently he has added an 11:00 wake
up call to that shuffle. Needless to say Jay and I are very tired. In fact I am
not sure either of us remembers what a full nights rest feels like.
To solve this problem
I have been trying to sleep train my little one. I’ve read two books and
countless internet articles on sleep and each one makes me feel more hopeless. What
I’ve learned thus far is that I’m a horrible mom because I didn’t start him on
cry it out when he was 5 day old, now he will never sleep through the night. I’ve
also learned that if I let him cry he will never be normal and not trust the
world and probably die. Don’t even get
me started on what I’ve read on night weaning and the many ways this can destroy
my baby.
Ultimately the problem is I have a hard time sticking to any
plan at 3:00 in the morning. I don’t like hearing my baby cry, not when I can
fix it by nursing him and we can all be back in bed in 10 minutes. But that is
the problem; I keep reinforcing his bad behavior. The teacher part of me knows that kids need
strict rules it helps them and they end up loving you in the end, but the mommy
part of me loves my little boy and I don’t like seeing him in pain.
I guess what I am trying to say is being a parent is hard! There
isn’t always a right answer and you don’t always make the right decisions. It’s
hard when you love someone so much that you want everything for them and
nothing to ever hurt them. But that isn’t life. I know that one day he will
sleep through the night, but I’ll probably be up worrying about being a good
Momma.
Kimbre, you are DEFINITELY not a failure! Baby Jay is well cared for- he's fed, bathed, clothed, has a clean diaper and receives endless kisses and cuddles from you and Jay. He's loved. He's healthy. You've provide him with everything he needs to survive.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, self-soothing is something he still has to figure out. I wish I had done this before and could provide some insight on how I'd accomplished this with my own child, but, as with most life experiences, I'm a little bit behind you and haven't gotten to kids yet. I do have this advice- don't read anything else on the Internet! Or rather, don't read blogs or other pages where you're feeling mom shame. Sure, they may have some good ideas on what worked for them, but for every tip or trick you see, you'll also get 10 opinions and people telling you what you did wrong. Ignore them! Every baby and every mom is different. And no mom is perfect (although they may try and pretend they are). They've all made their share of mistakes. So as soon as you start seeing anything negative, close that page!
Just remember you're doing a great job. Your child is happy, healthy and thriving. Do a little more research and come up with your plan, and Jay- make her stick to it! See what happens after a week or two. If you aren't seeing any changes, try something else. Eventually you'll find the right combination and Baby Jay will be sleeping through the night like a baby (couldn't resist the pun). Until that happens, remember you have lots of family and friends here to support you (without judgement!). Although we may not be there in person to take him off your hands so you can take a well-deserved nap, we're all a phone call, text, email or carrier pigeon away.
Love you all! Give Jay a hug and kiss for me (the baby, not the big one- that'd be awkward...)